
I am trying to inspire a sense of childlike wonder in my reader with my poems and sketches. I try to do this in three ways: by depicting supernatural events, by invoking a very personal and confessional tone, and by illustrating the natural world as a place of secrets and magic. When I was younger, I ardently believed in faeries and magic, likely as a coping mechanism to escape my abusive home life. I would go looking for hidden worlds in nature to escape into, and fantasize crossing over into some mythical realm and leaving my own reality behind.
The assignment for the Russian OCS program was to write seven blog posts. I decided to do my own take on the assignment because I knew accurately and cohesively documenting the real events and experiences of this trip would be extremely hard for me. My classmates have done an amazing job creating a log of important events and moments on this trip. I know if I tried to do the same I would slip into lying, leaving important details out, or getting completely lost in my writing.
So I chose to do a “blog” of poems and sketches. For me, poetry has always been a comfortable medium to document important events in my life while being able to embellish the narrative, stretch the truth, and pull the setting away from the “real” world and closer to a fantastical one. My sketches are also not very representative. On my blog you’ll find a girl with blue skin, pink water and a purple midday sky. I wanted to include them because I felt strongly about having a visual medium on my blog that attempted the same goals as my poetry. Most people look at art much more than they read poetry, and as someone with dyslexia I know it can be hard to read anything at all, let alone artistic writing. Therefore I wanted to include sketches on my blog along with the poetry to try to present the same message from my poems in a different way that might be more understandable, comfortable, or accessible for readers.
Where did my poems and sketches come from? The sources are as varied as stepping into wet sand and ruining my shoes at Lake Baikal, the history of prostitutes in St. Petersburg, or my classmate Nick’s passion for bird-watching. The majority of my poems and sketches were created in the moment while I was viewing each subject.
In Buryatia, the phrase “absolutely no one bothers you” repeated over and over in my head as we were driving through a vast dry landscape. I contradicted that statement later in the poem with the sand “bothering” me in my attempt to paint a complex portrait of my trip to Buryatia. In St. Petersburg I wrote down “canal girls” when I saw the area of the city where Sonia, a virtuous prostitute character from Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment, lived. I wanted to compare St. Petersburg prostitutes to the mist from public fountains that purify the city’s air. Because of my afore-mentioned dyslexia, I don’t read much poetry but I am almost constantly listening to music, especially folk music, spoken-word inspired rap, and alternative. I try to pay close attention to the consonant sounds, rhythm, rhyme of my poems. Listening to music strongly influenced me in Siberia when wrote “My girl, the bird”; I imagined that it could be something little kids could chant while jumping rope. I also imagined that someone might secretly act out the instructions in the poem to see if it worked.
In terms of my sketches, “a little boat” and “women of moscow” series (i; ii; iii) were both created “en plein aire”, meaning in the moment I was viewing the subjects. I wanted my image of the boat to be barely representational, sunstruck and filled with light to express the image as seen through the eyes of many weary but wonder-filled travelers in foreign lands. I was especially drawn to the Russian flag (visible in the upper-right corner of the composition) that grounded the boat geopolitically in what would otherwise have been an ephemeral space. With the “women of moscow” I was not concerned with creating perfectly accurate female portraits; instead, I wanted to express the qualities of my subjects that stood out to me through color association– red for strength, blue for innocence, and purple for mystery and secrecy.
Overall I hoped I could bring readers “through the looking glass” into a world that is partly Moscow, St. Petersburg, and Siberia, and partly a magical dreamland. I captured my experiences on the OCS program in the ways I know best, and I want to thank everyone who read this blog.